HOW MY JOURNEY TOWARDS SELF-EXPLORATION BEGAN?

 

The path to find out what is valuable to me, what is true to me, what is success and happiness according to me and so on…..

 

HOW DO I DEFINE EXPLORATION? 

 

Exploration according to me is,” Having the courage to follow my inner voice/ intuition with a lot of trust and freedom yet with my own set of boundaries and limits”.

 

• Inner voice – The Gut feeling to try something new.

• Trust – Having the faith to follow my inner voice
• Freedom – The free mind to follow my intuition/inner voice
• Boundaries & Limits – Arises from my value system, which is my way of deriving from my family values.

 In the journey towards following my inner voice, I get to understand myself, what is true to me, what is success and happiness according to me and so on.

Right from my childhood, my family endowed the valuable thought in me, whether a girl or a boy, everyone got equal rights to have a dream and achieve it. My brother (one of my cousins) always told me I can equally have my goals and aspirations in life as how he has his own goals and aspirations in his life. This kind of nurturing has helped me in the years to explore my world in my way.

WHY DO WE NEED TO EXPLORE?

Exploration helps 

----> to expand ourselves

----> To stretch out 

---->To broaden our conditioned thoughts and perspectives.

I always felt, we all have been conditioned by society in one form or another,

• The way we talk
• The way we think
• The choices we make
• The way we see things

Though this form of conditioning, helped me to inculcate some of the good values in me. It also helped me to understand what could be the right and wrong way of life perceived by the society. Simultaneously, it also narrowed down certain thoughts and actions in me and stopped me to find my true self.  In many situations, I try to question myself is that conditioning true to me? Does it work out for me? Can I make other choices in life?

Though none of us are here to be blamed, as no one can ever turn out to be perfect, 

We are evolving

We are growing

We are learning

We are trying to understand

We are getting better everyday  

At times, I try to tell my daughter, whether now she understands it or not, "Idhalya kutty! we as appa and amma, keep sharing our beliefs and values with you. Listen to us. Parallelly, when you grow bigger, meet new people, read books, you can frame your own beliefs and values in life. Do not follow or believe anything blindly without questioning yourself". 

Though society or culture gives us the standard system to follow (sum of values, beliefs and identity) which is derived from varied experiences and learnings by a group of people which conveys what we consider right and wrong.

But one standard size doesn't fit all.

One standard system or a belief cannot be implied to every individual living in a society.

A huge need for customization and a win-win negotiation is required at every part of our life.

In order to achieve this, self-exploration and introspection plays a huge role in our life.

Let me give an example, 

During the time, when I was working with Levi's, the brand launched a new revolutionary fit system based on shape not size. Say if an individual's jeans size is 34, it is further customized to three fits, slight, demi and bold curve.

If jeans fit in the hips and thighs but are too tight in the waist, one should try the Slight Curve.

If jeans usually fit in the waist, but don't flatter, one should try the Demi Curve.

 If jeans fit in the hips and thighs, but gap in the back, one should try the Bold Curve.

So,

To wear the perfect pair of jeans, one needs to find your right customized fit.

Similarly,

To live the best way of life which is designed just for you, then one needs to live a customized lifestyle.  

We are all unique in our own way, so we all deserve to live a customized way of lifestyle. 

A Customized way of living is required for every family, for every individual and  every child, living in a particular society. 

One needs to understand the problems in the standard way, and derive the customized way from the standard way based on analyzing the individual's priorities, needs, and wants.

Let me share another example,

When I was looking for schools for my kids, I found there were different educational boards and teaching methodologies  (CBSE, ICSE, IGCSE, MONTESSORI, WALDORF). In order to choose the right customized narrative of educational methodology for my kids. I should understand my kids and their style of learning. 

If my child is imaginative and creative, then I should choose Waldorf way of teaching.

If  I feel my child learns better through self-directed activity and hands-on learning, then I should choose Montessori for her. 

If my child learns better through practical and  application-based education. Then IGCSE could be the right choice. 

Further customized design of education is homeschooling, unschooling, or travel schooling.

So we should know our child's style of learning. To understand the child, first we need to observe the child. Also, we should understand as parents what is our style of learning which will reflect on our child. It should also be a win win choice for the parents and the kids, by considering all the factors in choosing a  right customized version of schooling.

 Recently I attended an online conference for aspiring homeschoolers, as being with my kids (7 year old & 4 year old) all day during this pandemic, has cultivated the curiosity in me to explore and learn what is homeschooling is all about. One of the speakers in the forum said, “we are all been damaged by society and the systems built in”. Another speaker said “We require a lot of unlearning and relearning process”

I really couldn’t understand the depth of the meaning until recently my dad took me on a visit to “KODUMANAL near Erode District which is one of the most important prehistoric industrial sites ever excavated. About 2300 years ago, the village has thrived as an industrial and trade center that made iron and steel, bangles out of shells, and exquisite beads. Potsherds, Roman silver coins, quarts, precious stones were unearthed from the habitat and burial sites of the ancient civilization.  It was so intriguing and astounding to see the findings.

                                      KODUMANAL - Megalithic belief in afterlife

                                   My visit to Keezhadi and Kodumanal!
                                       

I also visited Keezhadi in Madurai 2 years back, which gives evidence of a huge urban settlement and vibrant civilization in Tamil Nadu as early as 500 BC.

After my mesmerising experience from Kodumanal and Keezhadi, I wanted to tell everyone,

Hey! Do you all know something? 

We were all enjoying a sophisticated urban lifestyle much before 3^rd century BCE. Isn’t that so amazing? 

•       We were completely fit and perfect in our thoughts much before  2300 years ago.
•          We were listening to our inner voice
•           We were all just been ourselves.
•         Our growth and our thoughts seemed to be natural not conditioned during the ancient period.

But somewhere down the line,

•          We lost the essence which we had in us 2300 years ago
•           We stopped listening to our hearts and inner voice.
•           We stopped believing in our true potential
•              When did that conditioning start to happen in us?

 

Lot of thoughts that blows into my mind.

I think self-exploration could be the only solution to change our conditioned minds to open up to new horizons and perspectives and change the way we see the world around us. It gives us the sense that anything is possible. 

 

Self-exploration helped me to understand my true self. I always tried to get the answers to the questions like, what works out for me and what not; what fits me and what not? What’s so unique in me? How can I contribute? What’s right for me? How can I create a better version of myself? and so on…

 

There is a saying, “You have the most value in the world around you when you find and invest in the gifts that you uniquely have to offer.”

 

When I was doing my post-graduation in Chennai, we were asked to do a project on the topic ‘Launching a fashion brand in an International market’. I chose London because some of my friends were studying there. For this presentation, the first part is, I have to do a market study by researching the market by being a part of any London FB groups and talking to the people who live there and finally we have to come up with a presentation about the city, food habits, culture, lifestyles, fashion trends, and clothing preferences.

 

The second part of the presentation is, I have to get a list of the fashion brands in London and understand how they position themselves in the market.

 

The third part of the presentation is, I have to find the market gap, and choose the segment in which I’m going to launch my brand. Is there a market gap in kids wear or women’s or men’s segment or teenagers, or college students? Once I chose the segment, then I have to simplify around 5 brands which inspires me. I have to do a complete analysis of these 5 brands, their brand positioning, products, pricing, promotions, and so on. 

 

The final part of the presentation is,  launching my unique fashion brand in London which differentiates from all those brands in London. I got to create a Marketing plan – with its differentiation strategy, choosing the brand name, comprising the 4 Ps of Marketing product, pricing, place, and promotion strategy. We were also asked to do product development and got a collection of garments stitched based on analyzing the trends and choosing a particular theme.

 

We were given a time interval between each part of the presentations.

 

Now let's say if we humans as “brand personalities.” If God is planning to launch us as a brand in the market, say on this earth. Just imagine how much research and study God would have done to differentiate ourselves from all the other brand personalities on this earth. How much effort he would have put to create that uniqueness in us. Are we protecting and cherishing that uniqueness that God bestowed in us? Or are we ignoring our uniqueness by just trying to fit into society’s way of living? 

 

Many times I question, are we humans bound to follow society’s standards and lose our own beliefs just to be accepted? I think we must strive to find our own inner voice.

 

Can we ask for apples from a Mango tree, when the true creation and the purpose of the Mango tree are to offer only Mangoes to the world, or do you think a Mango tree should try its best all its life to find out how it can produce apples just because people in a particular society need apples? Don’t we think, the Mango tree loses its charm and uniqueness when it stopped being its true self and starts to live for society’s needs and wants?

These days, I could find people in their 50s and 60s are not happy about what they are doing. I do not see fun or joy in their daily tasks. I wonder, was it because they never tried to do what they truly love to do, or was it they never tried to protect their uniqueness because they just followed society’s standards of living.

 

In Hinduism, there are different Gods and Goddesses, 

 

• Lord Brahma stands for the creation of the universe whereas Lord Vishnu stands for preserving the universe

 

• Saraswathi stands as the Goddess of learning whereas Lakshmi stands as the Goddess of fortune.

 

• Lord Vinayaka stands for the removal of obstacles whereas Lord Muruga stands for war and victory.

 

Similarly, do we all know what do we stand for?

What is the true purpose of our creation? 

What is that differentiation strategy, God created in his Marketing plan when he launched us a human brand?

 If we understand that purpose, our true positioning on this planet, don’t you think our life will blossom to have a much deeper meaning to live on this earth?

 

Now let’s come to the topic, 

 

HOW MY JOURNEY OF SELF-EXPLORATION BEGAN?

 

My journey of self-exploration began after my schooling (16 years back) when a childhood friend of mine and also a family friend who wants to study in a college in Bangalore. And we both went together. Much gratitude to her, and also to my parents for the trust they always had in me. It made a huge difference in my life today. 

 

It was one day, after few weeks of me joining the college, a friend of mine told me ‘Vidhyarthikaa, you just love doing this, Vidhyarthikaa loves this way, that and so on”. Of course, there were few attributes I knew about myself. But there were a lot of assets in me, I learnt that I possess, only after that friend told me about it. Moreover, it was astonishing to find some of my friends who were so much crisp and clear about who they are? And what do they want from their life? And they just did what they feel is the right thing to do. That’s the moment, the sparkle came in me to figure out myself, who am I? What do I want from my life? Why do I want something? And what clicks me? What inspires me? What is my true self?

 

Also, the multicultural institution, I studied over there, stands by its motto “Emphasis on Life”. It gave me the freedom to explore, experiment, make mistakes and learn from them. It’s a place where we can just be ourselves, we can explore, experiment, and do things that we feel are the best thing for us. It gave us the right exposure and the environment for all of us to grow and flourish.

 

That’s when my quest for self-exploration and self-discovery began.

 

I could remember, one of my favorite quotes, which I came across years later when I was working with the brand Levi’s during one of their Marketing Campaigns in 2011.

 ALL YOU NEED IS ALL YOU GOT!   JUST GO FORTH!!